Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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