You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
