her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize