Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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