hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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