Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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