well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
