We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
