Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
