So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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