You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
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I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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