YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize