Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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