Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
