im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
mondays should just be called national damage control day
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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