HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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