So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
