Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.

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(513): View more from Ohio

you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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(805): View more from California

Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.

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(951): View more from California

I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.

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