You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
