even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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