it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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