so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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