He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i out mim tonsoeep
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