"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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