Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize