chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize