don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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