Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize