I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
