I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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