She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
