I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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