I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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