Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
