I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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