Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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