he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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