she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
