I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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