I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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