I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
