I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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