so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
