If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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