Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
