This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He? As in you personified your dick?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
