Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
