Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
