I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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