i love accidental penises.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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