Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
