What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
