She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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