she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
what food is Colorado known for?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.