I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
