I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text