you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head