I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted