I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
one might say we're banned from that church
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
