WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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