Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
